EXERCISES IN
COMMUNICATION 1 of 4
These exercises are for couples who are having
problems with communication or with ‘hearing’ or
recognising each others needs. Please ensure that
you have at least an hour free. Print out two
copies, one for each of you. Unplug the telephone,
make sure that you have both been to the loo and
that you have no need to move from your chair for
anything. Get yourselves a drink of wine, beer, soft
drink, coffee or tea, whatever you like to relax
with. Make sure that you have a clock or timer to
hand and choose to sit in your comfiest chair.
THE GROUND RULES
1. Each couple takes it in turns to answer the
questions ie partner A asks partner B Q1 – partner B
then answers Q1 and when finished, asks partner A
the same question. The person whose turn it is to
answer must not under any circumstances be
interrupted but listened to and really heard and
understood. Do not interrupt even if you haven’t
understood what the other partner is saying.
2. Each person has a maximum of three minutes to
answer each question – set the timer or note the
time. You can finish before the three minutes is up
but must not go over that time.
3. The person speaking has the right to be
listened to and the person listening should respect
what is being voiced and should not make any verbal
or non-verbal expression that is negative or which
indicates boredom or scorn, disrespect or lack of
value and acceptance.
4. Honesty is of absolute importance but what is
said should be said with respect and love – these
exercises will only work if honesty and respect are
the main ingredients
5. Agree not to leave your chair for an hour at
least, whatever the provocation or without agreement
from both sides.
If you BOTH agree to these ground rules then please
begin.
TEN QUESTIONS
Q1. What do you feel are the three things in this
relationship that make you really unhappy? (Just
list the three things, please no blaming the other
partner)
Q2. Tell me what I can do to make that better for
you?
Q3. What three things do you like most about me?
Q4. Tell me what your three greatest personal goals
are in life (not connected to the relationship
necessarily).
Q5. How do I make your life better?
Q6. What would you do with your life if I dropped
dead tomorrow?
Q7. What can I do sexually to make you enjoy it
more? (this one may be too difficult for some
couples so leave it out if both agree)
Q8. Tell me how you want the next ten years to be in
our lives?
Q9. In the next week, tell me one thing that we can
do together that will make you really happy (please
try to carry this one out)
Q10. When/if we start to argue, how can we change
the downward spiral into argument? (strategies for
this are saying TIME OUT and then leaving the room
for five minutes argument or saying WE ARE ARGUING –
LET’S STOP and then both stopping and changing the
subject whatever it is about)
DOWNLOAD THIS PAGE
|