My husband and I moved to France a few years ago. We are both 70 and have been married 14 years. We thought we had something so special and loved each other so very much. It seems we have drifted apart and have not been meeting in the middle for some considerable time. He had not been giving me eye contact and seemed not to care at all anymore for several months. I was beginning to worry he was ill and didn't want to tell me.

A fortnight ago I pressured him to tell me and said he had all the symptoms of an affair but I didn't see how as we are almost always together. We have many friends as a couple and have a very active social life and I am sure no one knows anything is wrong. Eventually I asked him if there was anyone else and he said no - but. And the but is that someone he used to love has found him on the internet and they started communicating some months ago. It apparently developed and they both found they still love each other. This is from 45 years ago. I can't help thinking he is in love with a fantasy. He cannot know what she is like now, either visually or as a person.

I was very upset and could not believe he could hurt me like this. He was feeling very guilty and blames me for attacking him all the time (verbally) which I do admit on occasions. We have had two dreadful weeks, we have both been very upset, He made me promises but now says he doesn't know if he can keep them as he is finding it too hard, and is constantly on the computer. I have told him I still love him very much but I know his love for me is dead. He says he still loves me in his own way. He is a very kind gentle guy who would not deliberately hurt anyone. He says he is frightened of a future with me and doesn't know what he wants. He says he need time and space.

 We are going through the motions talking on occasions in monotone voices. If I ask him anything he says I am putting pressure on him. Today I have found some strength from somewhere and have told him that I am moving on with my life, I shall join a few clubs and try to be happy and that the tears are over. I have counted my blessings, we have a lovely home, a motorhome and should be so happy. He says he doesn't know if he wants to move forward with me or not. We should be away now in the motorhome but he doesn't want to go anymore. Please can he ever have feelings for me again and if so how do I play it? I am not moving out of our home and wonder if I try to be patient he will get over it. I am managing to hold it together on the outside but inside I am in despair and most days break my heart alone then pull myself together. Please help.

AUDIO for partially sighted





































Hit Counter