Therapist A is a counsellor with a psychodynamic approach with experience of working with adults and young people.

I think you are in a very difficult position. From what you say about your daughter-in law's behaviour, her problem is very evident to both you and your son and has been so for sometime. It is probable that she realizes that you know that she is not well but it could be too hard for her to admit to you her very distressing and distressed state. It sounds as if you are all avoiding the painful and difficult reality. You, your son and she are all in a situation where you are pretending that nothing is happening.

She has, from what you say, sought out some help but you seem a little dismissive of this. I wonder why? Were you sceptical about the therapist's approach to the problem? Maybe she is right to be resistant to taking medication and wants to seek a different approach but is not sure where to find the right sort of help.

I think that you could try to talk to your daughter-in-law, bring things into the open, but it very much depends on how you feel about her and what your relationship is with her. If your wish to help her comes from genuine compassion I think this will come through but, if you feel condemnatory or merely wish to make things better for your son, she may well reject your help. Once you have faced her with your concern, if that is what you decide to do and have perhaps found possible help she needs to decide for herself what course she will take. It maybe that she is in fact still seeing someone. Even if she does find satisfactory help, it wont be instant. To come to terms with a lifelong affliction such as OCD takes time.

There are different views about the origins of OCD but it would seem that it is behaviour that results from early anxieties which then itself causes considerable anxiety to the sufferer. There are also different approaches to the treatment and your daughter-in-law, if she accepts your help, will need to find the approach that suits her. It maybe that the cognitive behavioural approach could help her or that she needs to find a psychoanalytic therapist who will spend time to work through deep seated early anxieties with her.

Therapist B is a Relate-trained counsellor with experience of working with relationship issues and is an experienced couples counsellor
I'm really sorry that you have been facing this dilemma with your daughter-in-law for quite some time now & I'm wondering how you know that she has seen a therapist recently? I only ask because that might be a lead in to gently ask her more about what kind of therapy was being offered? You might be able to say that you've heard of alternative treatment, useful web sites etc? However, if it is information given in confidence by your son for example, then I can see that it would be difficult to just introduce the subject without his permission.

In any case it is clearly a delicate situation, which is a shame as there is treatment & support available,& I'm going to send you some links to a couple of useful sites on the subject, which at least would help you to become more informed as to the possibilities. Maybe you could share them with your son as he is closest to your daughter-in-law, & it does sound as though nothing much is being done at the moment to deal with a difficult problem.

I do hope these sites will help you, & as there are leaflets available perhaps you could print one of them off & give it to your son first or at least discuss with him how he thinks you might be able to help. There are also self help guides/support groups for family & friends of those with OCD available, which you might find useful in giving you tips on how you could help, once your daughter in law is prepared to accept that there is a problem. She is probably too scared to discuss it all, but if it can be brought out into the open in as gentle a fashion as possible then maybe she will be able to see that she isn't alone & that there is help available.
All these sites & more are on Google if you type in obsessive compulsive disorder - good luck - I hope you do manage to get something started soon.

1) http://helpguide.org/mental/obsessive_compulsive_disorder_ocd.htm
A guide to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), including symptoms, common thoughts and behaviors, treatments, self-help, and tips for helping a loved one. There is a list at the end of resources/leaflets/support groups.

2) www.ocduk.org  -gives a lot of info /support groups etc.
Therapist C is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with experience of working with relationship and many other issues.

From what you write, it would seem that your daughter-in-law is suffering from acute anxiety and needs all the things that she is keeping in the house to make her feel safe. Her feelings about taking medication do have some logic to them as some medication for anxiety conditions can have very unpleasant side effects. As this appears to be a very delicate situation I was wondering if it might be possible for you to mention to her that you have noticed that she is keeping everything and that she appears anxious and then ask her what she feels might be going on.

I have doubts about your using the label OCD as it may make her feel that you think that she is mad. You state that she has seen a therapist recently but you do not mention if she is continuing to see the therapist. Your daughter-in-law's symptoms seem to be indicative of a deep-seated and chronic anxiety and dealing with this is not short-term work. Of course, whether you talk to your daughter-in-law about all this very much depends on what kind of relationship you have with her. If you feel that she trusts you, then it might help her. Otherwise, she could feel threatened by your bringing up her difficulties with her.