Hello, I'm very
glad you've found the courage to write & ask for help in
your current situation & hope that at least being able
to write in your own language will enable you to feel
understood & supported. I'm sorry you find yourself
alone so much & presumably rather isolated, given the
circumstances you have described.
There are indeed
many ex-pats who find themselves turning to the bottle
when feeling lonely & bored so you're not alone in that
respect, & although I guess the ideal solution would be
to be able to talk to your husband about your feelings,
it doesn't sound as though he would be very sympathetic,
as presumably he feels he is working hard all day &
deserves a rest when he gets home - I'm sure you're
right to be wary of his reactions if he has been violent
before.
Clearly this is
a very difficult situation & I suppose that you have
several options, none of them particularly easy, but
please feel free to write again & ask for more help to
explore them further at any time. Basically, the first
option is to weigh up the pros & cons of leaving this
lonely environment-do you have any financial means of
your own, do you want to leave your husband & start
again,& would your sons be understanding & able to help
you? I know that sounds rather drastic but it sometimes
help to ask yourself these questions & get your feelings
clear about whether to go or stay? If you decide it is
too difficult to leave for either practical or emotional
reasons, then maybe you could look at how to make some
positive changes to your life as it is? I know that you
live in a small French village & don't know whether you
have your own transport, but obviously that would help
you to get out of the house more & look for some
distraction away from drinking.
As you have
access to the internet it could help to look up some
ex-pat sites & find out out if there are any groups that
you could join for company or interest,& indeed there
are usually sites for A.A. that might be able to support
you if you feel you need professional help to either
stop drinking or to drink less.
If any of the above suggestions are impractical for
financial reasons then maybe you could find the company
you need on the internet - perhaps if you can get some
insight into a wider world then it will take your mind
off the unhappy situation & help you to broaden your
views & opinions-maybe even to share them with your
husband when he isn't so tired? Even if you have no car,
maybe a bike would help to get you out & about & one way
of improving your language is to offer to help anyone in
the village who wants to learn English.
I do know that all this is much easier said than done &
it is hard to break out & make changes when you feel so
isolated, so I hope that the above has helped while you
think of ways & means to make the necessary positive
changes to your life - good luck & kind regards! |