""WHY IS MY DAUGHTER TREATING ME LIKE THIS?""

Therapist A is a counsellor and life coach with experience of working with alcohol and addiction issues as well as with eating disorders.
Sometimes during the course of therapy people do decide to stop having contact with members of their family or friends. It can be confusing and hurtful to those affected by it. Forcing contact can also be counterproductive. I understand that six months, and the lead up to them, can feel like a very long time but to respect your daughters wishes at the moment can bring about lasting healing in the end. Her religious beliefs are important to her from what you have said and it may be equally important that you have trust in her faith.

From your email it sounds as if she is building on her relationship with her father which reached a difficult stage for her when she was a teenager and at the same time she does know that you haven't abandoned her by your concern even though she has blocked it out.

I would suggest giving "time time". Perhaps if your brother is willing, you could send the odd card in a month or so (perhaps at a birthday or seasonal holiday) just simply saying that you love her and wish her well but that is all, as it appears that she may feel pressured right now. There is a sense that you both went through a lot of emotional changes at a vulnerable age for your daughter. In the meantime it might be helpful for you for have some counselling support as you say that "I really want to kill myself some days". It is true that this situation is not unusual in counselling and can often be resolved by giving a chance for all parties to work through some difficult issues.
Therapist B is a Relate-trained counsellor with experience of working with relationship issues and is an experienced couples counsellor
I'm really sorry to hear of the sorry situation with your beloved daughter, it must be so hard for you to lose contact in this way-& I imagine really quite galling that she appears to have switched loyalties to your ex husband & his new family.

Reading through your history of events I guess the change in attitude might well have started when you became involved with a partner with whom she didn't get on so well? Maybe she felt resentful that she had lost some of your attention, & if it wasn't discussed at the time then these feelings tend to accumulate & get out of hand. Maybe the contrast between being such good companions to each other & then losing that intimacy was too much for your daughter to cope with at her age at the time?

However, having said that I can see that it is very hard to handle now if she has deliberately cut off all correspondence, but I rather doubt if she would respond to any forced communication at the moment. She seems to be giving a very clear message that she needs time & counselling to decide what she wants to do before she resumes any form of contact. I know this must be terribly hard for you but it doesn't look as though she will respond to any overtures until/unless she is ready. Her counselling may take some time to help her resolve her feelings & meanwhile it may be useful for you to seek some form of help for yourself to try & understand what has happened, & what might have contributed to this situation?

There are always the Samaritans for those times when you feel truly desperate, but meanwhile I hope you might try & find some form of counselling for yourself to ease these unhappy & frustrated feelings.
Therapist C is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with experience of working with relationship and many other issues.
From what you write the pain that you are feeling due to your daughter's not wanting any contact with you seems almost unbearable for you. You mention your closeness to your daughter and you seem to feel completely on your own now that you have no contact with her. I am wondering whether there is some sort of pattern being repeated here, whether you experienced something similar when you were growing up. You describe an extreme closeness and then a total loss of the person with whom you had that closeness. There seems to be something about abandonment in what you write. You move to France when your daughter starts university which she may have experienced as having been abandoned by you. When she no longer wants any contact, you feel so bereft that you say you want to kill yourself. I wonder what it means for you that your daughter does not want any contact and what it touches for you. As difficult is may seem, maybe you could try and look at the part you may have had in the breakdown in the relationship between you and your daughter. I realise that the issues that I am raising may be difficult for you to address on your own and you may therefore want to consider counselling or psychotherapy.