We all use this word, read articles about it, claim to overcome it or more rarely, admit to succumbing to it. It is a very special person who can boast immunity to it, considering the pressures of modern-day living.

The dictionary (Chambers 20th Century), defines Stress as ‘a constraining influence: physical, emotional or mental pressure: force’. A stressor is a person or situation which makes you become stressed.

The speed at which the world has evolved in the past 50 years is six times as fast as 300 years ago. Modern society, with it’s pressures, overcrowding, traffic congestion, noise, fears and uncertainties about work, home and family life can present so many situations in which the possibility of becoming stressed is ever present.

It is an unavoidable part of life, everyone experiences it, however, not all stress is harmful. There is positive stress, which can be stimulating, enjoyable and interesting. If you want to compete and excel at sports, for example, you need stress to bring about the necessary motivation and drive to perform. Stress can function as a stimulating ingredient to encourage us to take risks and go beyond our seeming limitations to achieve higher goals.

Our technological achievements and consequential changes in lifestyles have taxed our personal, human and environmental resources. Physiologically we, as a race have not changed. Our metabolism, bodily functions, and basic needs for survival remain as they always have.......to require food, shelter, warmth, love, activity, rest and creative freedom.

Some people handle stress very well, while others are more negatively influenced by it. It is the effects of long-term stresses that usually cause problems.

If stress can be good for us, when do stress levels become harmful?

There seem to be three main factors which make stressful situations dangerous to us:

• no outlet for frustrations

• an inability to predict the outcome

• a lack of control

When these elements are present, even the simplest situations can become stressful and produce a reaction which is completely out of proportion to the event. It shows us that it is not the situation causing the stress but our own individual reaction to it. How often do we find that the fears of the past come and haunt us, and the anxieties of the future cripple us, to the extent that we become paralysed into inaction for today. We miss opportunities, find our decision making impaired, and panic further.

When the brain registers that a potentially stressful situation is about to arise, our bodies respond by manufacturing adrenalin. In our more primitive, less sophisticated states as human beings, this was triggered into the bloodstream to stimulate a more powerful response and could be utilised immediately, e.g: to run away as in the flight or fight syndrome, but in todays world the opportunity to release the tension so physically is often not appropriate and hence can be accumulated in the body.

Growth is usually preceded by change and handling change can be difficult. The following life-changing events have been identified as the most likely to cause harmful stress:

• Bereavement

• Moving house

• Debt

• Ill health

• Difficult relationships

• Stressful work

• Family problems

Even positive events like marriage, pregnancy or a child starting school or university may cause stress, which could lead to illness. Approximately seventy percent of all illness is now directly attributed to stress.

Physical symptoms to look out for:

• Muscular tension
• High blood pressure/palpitations
• Shallow and/or faster breathing
• PMT
• Loss of appetite
• Irregular menstruation
• Dilated pupils
• Constant tiredness
• Impotence
• Low sex drive
• Excess sweating
• Disturbed sleeping pattern
• Constipation
• Diarrhoea
• Ulcers
• Poor skin
• Hair loss
• Poor hair condition

These are only some of the physical signs, you may be able to add more to this list. The emotions can also be thrown into turmoil, and anyone may feel uneasy, vulnerable and want to cry all the time.

Emotional symptoms may be:

• Low self-esteem
• Loss of concentration
• Feelings of helplessness
• Loss of sense of humour
• Loneliness
• Irritability
• Panic attacks
• Desire to escape
• Mood swings
• Nightmares
• Sleep disturbance
• Lack of concentration
• Confusion
• Forgetfulness
• Insecurity
• Over-stimulation
• Hypochondria
• Frustration
• Loss of sense of proportion

Each person will handle these differently but frequently there comes a time when these feelings and pain become too much to cope with, and one might turn to alcohol, pills, (tranquillisers or sleeping pills) overspending, excesses of chocolate or food, starving or using vomiting/laxatives to control weight and FEEL you are in control.

When the physical, mental and emotional bodies are out of balance we need help to restore our natural harmony, peace and tranquillity.

WE create our own realities and must not underestimate the power of the mind, both in a negative or positive sense. We can develop habitual patterns of negative behaviour which will undermine and sabotage our higher aims and ambitions if we do not recognise them and take positive steps to change such programming. Some people posses certain characteristics, maybe physical or mental, that help them to cope with what life throws at them. Even if we are not naturally blessed with these, most of them are things we can all cultivate if we try hard enough.

We can develop:

• a sense of purpose

• a sense of self worth

• an ability to express emotions

• a positive outlook on life

• a pride in our achievements

• outlets for creative self-expression

• physical stamina

• a good body weight

• skills to deal with relationships

• ways of managing stress in a good humoured way

• physical, mental and emotional fitness

• an ability to relax thoroughly

It is often a combination of many different techniques which enable the individual to reduce stress.

The one main problem for busy stressed people seems to be taking time for oneself, and yet that is THE most important.

The secret to reducing stress is changing old habits and taking care of yourself is first and foremost.

Many of the exercises below can be done quietly, alone or with friends. Techniques can be learnt easily in classes, ending loneliness and bringing new friends together.

• healthy eating (take a diet low in caffeine, salt, sugar)

• reduce/stop alcohol intake

• stop smoking

• breathing exercises

• taking regular breaks from work

• learning time management

• the use of relaxing herbal and essential oil baths

• undertaking assertiveness training

• relaxation exercises

• meditation

• yoga

• Holistic body massage

• Reiki (Spiritual healing)

• Indian Head massage

• Counselling therapy.

• Having a good hearty laugh at least once a day!

REIKI

is a natural hands-on healing energy system. The word means Universal (Rei) life force energy (ki). It’s purpose is to stimulate the body’s own healing ability. It brings harmony on all levels by balancing and revitalising and creates a total sense of wellbeing. Reiki relaxes, energises and nurtures and is an excellent stress reliever. Its’ popularity is due to its’ simplicity, usefulness and fits into any lifestyle. Hands are placed on the fully clothed body and the recipient need only lie back and enjoy the experience. Reiki will direct itself to the area which needs it the most, be that emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. It is non-manipulative, non-invasive and non-intrusive. The continuing effects may continue for hours or even days afterwards. It supports all other forms of healing, including medical treatments, by bringing your body to a place of balance where healing can occur. Diagnosis is unnecessary, so there is no need to share details of your medical condition. Again confidentiality is assured.

is a totally confidential, client centred method of communicating. As human beings we are used to coping, and ‘going it alone’, bottling up our fears, anxieties, and concerns. One to one counselling is an opportunity to share those thoughts and feelings in a safe, secure, non-judgmental atmosphere. It is a time for you to be still, and take an honest look at your reality. A chance to see alternatives or to change attitudes in a way you had not thought about. This process can help you to deal with emotional difficulties, bereavement, low self-esteem, problem relationships or irrational fears. Emotional changes can certainly bring about a more positive, happy and fulfilling life.

is a specific form of massage handed down through generations of Indian families. Primarily it loosens all the tight muscles in the upper back, shoulder, arms, neck, scalp and face. It relieves eyestrain, headaches, and that ‘tight band’ feeling around your head. It calms the mind, soothes tension, and stimulates the circulation and lymphatic drainage, hence removing unwanted toxins in the body and carrying healthy blood supplies and oxygen to the brain. This activates the mind, giving clarity to decision making and alertness. It is of particular benefit to those using computer screens, when long periods of sustained eye focus are needed. It can be given in the office, or at home, sitting in a chair, fully clothed and may take only 30 - 50 minutes, depending on the needs of the individual. The sense of wellbeing and rejuvenation derived from this technique needs to be experienced.

These are just some examples of how stress can be relieved, easily and with a minimum of effort, and time. If practiced regularly, amazing benefits can be gained, less physical illness, more energy, feelings of positivity and hope, a new attitude and outlook on life. We are all worthy of the best life and love have to offer but it is up to each and every one of us to value ourselves sufficiently, and to create our own CalmCare, for today.