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Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That maybe it couldn't, but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it. –
E A Guest
Is something stopping you from trying new things?
You’re right this is a closed question: there are only
two possible answers – yes, or no, and both of them
really depend upon your level of self-esteem.
Esteem, comes from the Latin word to estimate and is the
standard mechanism that is used to estimate our selves
and our abilities, so it follows that those with low
self esteem will have difficulty in trying something
new. So how do I know if I have low self esteem?
The following are aspects of low self esteem:
1. Social withdrawal
2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil
3. Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression
and/or bouts of sadness
4. Eating disorders
5. Inability to accept compliments
6. An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair
to yourself
7. Exaggerating the negative
8. Exaggerated concern over what other people think
9. Self neglect
10. Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
11. Worrying whether you have treated others badly
12. Reluctance to take on challenges
13. Reluctance to trust your own opinion
14. Low expectations of life for yourself
15.
Do any of the above sound like you?
Would you like to boost your self esteem? Firstly do you
want to work on it on your own? If so there are lots of
techniques for self-help. And there are lots of courses
for groups. Whichever you decide to use the following
tips should help!
You should build on solid foundations such as
1. The need to give and receive attention – this can
include pets as well as family and friends
2. Taking care of both your mind and body – pamper
yourself when you need to and take time out to have fun.
3. Having purpose and goals in your life. These provide
structure and help you measure yourself
4. Making something using your skills for creativity and
stimulation
5. The need for intimacy and connection – we all need a
hug sometimes.
6. Discipline - sense of control – very often it’s the
feeling of being out of control that cause issues
7. The need for a sense of safety and security – if your
level of income is low and your home is at risk you lose
your safety net and will feel at risk. Ask for help.
If low self esteem is not the issue; there could be a
number of reasons that will potentially stop you trying
something new.
You may feel:
Fear:
of the unknown: who's going to be there
of failure – will I be able to learn, perhaps I
shouldn’t chance it
of making yourself look a fool
of getting lost What if I cant find the venue
of the facilitator/teacher – what will they be like -
will they like me
of not being able to communicate - My Spanish is awful
will I be able to understand/make myself understood
Other things to people ask themselves:
Can I find someone to go with?
Am I going to make myself look really stupid?
What about my learning style.... will I be able to
learn?
What if it turns out to be different to what I expected
- so don't go and then and wonder what you're missing.
Be clear about what you want to do: set yourself goals.
Why do you want to do it? Excel – you need to find
something that in time you will be really good at. So
what is holding you back? What are the limiting factors
that are stopping you? If you really don’t know try the
following technique. Take a deep breath hold it for as
long as its comfortable and then blow it out thoroughly,
breathing out all of your tension; take another deep
breath and repeat then take a third deep breath – you
will find yourself entering a different state – one of
relaxation – now let your mind run free and don’t
concentrate too hard on what it is you want to know. The
answer will just pop into your head.
Go on take a deep breath and pick up the phone. You are
just one stop away from success:
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Christine Hargan, BSc (Hons) Psychology; Specialises in
and treats the causes and effects of emotional
disorders, confidence and addiction based issues with
hypnotherapy, NLP and psychotherapy. |
